she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
