Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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