youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
