Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
