is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
