SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
