And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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