She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
