I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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