google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize