I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
