i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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