You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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