Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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