Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
