Only a mothe r could love this liver
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
