So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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