Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
is wine microwaveable?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
