you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the day after is always just damage control
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
