Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
