I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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