People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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