Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
