We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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