So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize