I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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