how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
