Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
