uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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