using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
