If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
