Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
