:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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