And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I believe in your delicious
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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