If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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