Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize