my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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