I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think my vagina is haunted
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
