Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
should my penis look like a turkey
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
