this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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