Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
