When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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