Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
