I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
there is glitter all over my balls
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize