Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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