The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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