oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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