Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
