so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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