i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize