Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
