FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
