i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
