how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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