I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
