We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
