If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
