I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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